Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
