You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize