My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
