A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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