i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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