I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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