If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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