I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
