they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
