my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
