Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
