Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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