Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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