Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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