covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Everyone says I win the strip club
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.