just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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