Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize