He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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