Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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