Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
