We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
