I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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