Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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