you would pick up someone in the library
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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