She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize