Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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