i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
