Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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