If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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