You're so nebulous sometimes
i just wanna soil my oats bro
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
