I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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