Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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