woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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