i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
