you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
