Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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