i think my mom watched the whole time
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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