I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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