I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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