Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
