Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
