I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize