I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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