i don't plan on having that self control this summer
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
