Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Randomize
