He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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