im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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