Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
