I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
