please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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