I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
