sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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