textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Panties = found
Randomize