I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize