I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
