oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
