Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
