last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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