I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
